Step-by-step instructions for using The Marriage Builder
Step 1: Signup for a Marriage Builder subscription and login to your subscription once it is activated
You can sign up for a subscription here. Your subscription will be activated within 24 hours of signing up. The Marriage Builder is run on the Kannetic group performance platform. Once your subscription is activated, you will receive an email that will provide you a temporary password to login to Kannetic. Your username is your email address. You will also receive a second email welcoming you to your Marriage Builder subscription.
You can change your password at any time while logged into Kannetic by clicking your name in the upper right of the screen, then select Account, enter a new password and click Submit Changes. If you do not see your password email or forget your password, you can also reset your password by clicking here, then click "Forgot password?" and following instructions.
Step 2: Add your spouse onto your subscription
The person who signed up for your subscription is the “subscription administrator.” As the subscription administrator, you will always have a slightly different view of your subscription that will allow you to advance it through the steps below. The first thing the subscription administrator does is to add their spouse onto your subscription. You must do this so that both of you can log in separately to your subscription.
Once the subscription administrator has logged in to your subscription, you add your spouse onto it by following these steps:
- Click the blue "+ Add New User" button in the right grey box
- Enter your spouse’s name and email address in the pop-up window
- Click: "Save Changes" at the bottom of the pop-up window
You can play the "Instruction Video: Adding Your Spouse to Your Subscription" below to see exactly how to do this.
After you add your spouse onto your subscription, they will receive the same Kannetic password and subscription welcome emails you did when your subscription was activated. Your spouse must login to your subscription separately from you, so that you can both take the Marriage Builder assessment.
Instruction Video: Adding Your Spouse to Your Subscription
Step 3: Schedule some time with your spouse when you will focus together on using the Marriage Builder
Step 4: Each of you takes your Marriage Builder Assessment
Instruction Video: Taking Your Marriage Builder Assessment
Each of you separately takes the Marriage Builder Assessment in the "Prioritize" screen of your subscription.
If you do not see the Marriage Builder Assessment, click the “Prioritize” arrow in the top ribbon.
Fill out at least one answer for each of the three questions in the poll, then click submit at the bottom the screen.
Please note that it could take up to 10 seconds for your Assessment to submit. You will know it is submitted when you see the Assessment Results screen display.
Assessment results are provided real time - so you can take the assessment together on seperate devices. Just be sure to refresh your browser when you are both done and can both see the Assessment Results screen. You will need to view your assessment results on a laptop, PC, or a tablet (flipped horizontally). It will not display on a mobile phone.
Step 5: Discuss the results of your assessment together
Instruction Video: Sorting Assessment Results
You can sort your assessment results by clicking the arrows next to "Needs Improvement" and "Strength."
Discuss the results together with your spouse:
- Where do you both feel your marriage is strong?
- Where do you both see a need for improvement?
- Where do you have a mixed opinion about your marriage?
- Where do you not feel strongly either way?
Step 6: Decide together on 1 or 2 Marriage Success Factors you most want to focus on improving together at this time
Instruction Video: Selecting Marriage Success Factors to Focus on Improving
Choose 1 or 2 Marriage Success Factors you want to focus on improving. Try to limit yourself to only two areas - and if possible only one. You will be able to work on other areas once you have made progress with these.
The subscription administrator enters your selection into your subscription by selecting the checkboxes next to the Marriage Success Factors you want to improve, and then clicking "Submit improvement opportunities" at the bottom of the screen.
Step 7: Review a starting list of potential actions you can take to work on each Marriage Success Factor you prioritized for improvement. Watch advice videos about actions.
Instruction Video: Reviewing Potential Improvement Actions
Click on the "Plan" arrow in the upper ribbon of your subscription.
You will now find here a starting list of ideas of potential improvement actions you can take for each of the Marriage Success Factors you prioritized. Read through these potential actions together.
If you want, you can both like and dislike ideas as you go using the thumbs-up an thumbs-down arrows. If you both like and dislike actions on your own device, you can refresh your browsers and see your totals in parenthesis.
Any of the actions in blue font also have videos discussing those actions from Marriage Builder video contributors. You can click on the action text to view the videos. If you want to learn more about the contributor, you can click on their name in the video to see their introduction and other videos by them.
Step 8: If you want, you can add additional ideas for potential actions
Instruction Video: Adding Potential Improvement Actions
Decide if you want to add any other potential improvement action ideas onto your list. If you want to add an action, the administrator clicks "Add an action,” types in the action, and then clicks “Add action.”
You have to refresh your browser for both of you to see the new action on both of your lists.
Step 9: Decide together on at least one action for each Marriage Success Factor you want to improve
Instruction Video: Committing to Improvement Actions You Will Practice
Decide together on at least one action you want to take together to improve each Marriage Success Factor you prioritized working on. Try to select no more than 2 or 3 actions for each success factor. The goal is to focus on a set of improvement actions you will both really practice doing over the next few weeks - rather than to list all the things you would ideally love to do.
The subscription administrator enters your selected actions into your subscription by selecting the checkboxes next to each action you commit to taking together, and then clicking "Submit selected action plan" at the bottom of the screen.
Be sure to submit the action plan. If you do not, the tracking process will not begin.
Step 10: Celebrate - you just made a plan to improve your marriage!
Step 11: Set some time together to track your progress
Instruction Video: Initiating a Tracker Poll
In 3 months time, you will automatically each receive an email invitation to log back in to your Marriage Builder subscription and take a poll to track your progress together.
When you receive this email, set up time together to login to your Marriage Builder subscription and take the tracking poll. Every three months, thereafter, you will automatically receive another invitation to check in on your improvement progress together.
If you do not want to wait 3 months to track your progress, you can track your progress at any time manually by going to the "Track" screen and clicking "Send Tracker Now."
This will initiate a tracker poll for each of you.
You may choose to check-in weekly, bi-weekly or whenever is next convenient by manually initiating a Tracker Poll. It is up to you if you want to check in more often than every three months, but you should track progress at a minimum of once every three months. The Marriage Builder will automatically send an email inviting you to take a Progress Tracker Poll, if 3 months go by and you have not initiated one yourself.
Step 12: Take your Progress Tracker Poll and discuss results together
Instruction Video: Taking a Progress Tracker Poll
To take your Tracker Poll, each of you logs into your subscription using your own email, and you each login to your own Kannetic account to take your Tracker Poll seperately.
If you don't see the poll, click the Track arrow in the upper ribbon.
Be sure to complete every question in the poll. A few pointers:
You must select Yes or No answers for each question about how you are doing on your prioritized Marriage Success Factors
You must select Yes or No as to whether you have tried to take each action included in your action plan
For any action you have tried to take, you must rank how effective you feel that action has been on a 5 star scale (five stars is the highest rating.)
When both of you have completed the Progress Tracker Poll, refresh your browser to see both of your results.
Discuss the results of the poll together:
- How are you doing?
- Are you making progress?
- Are you taking your planned actions?
- Are your planned actions working?
When you have finished discussing your poll results, decide on one of three options:
Option One: Keeping Going!
Decide that should keep working on the Marriage Success Factors you prioritized and the improvement actions you selected. Wait three months for the next tracker poll, or manually trigger a tracker poll at any time you want to check-in next. Essentially, you are returning to Step 11.
Option Two: Change Action Plan.
Decide you need to change your action plan, because the improvement actions you chose are not working and you do not think they will work. In this case, the administrator clicks on the "Plan" arrow in the upper ribbon and you return to Step 6 above. Go through the steps again to choose a new action plan; and then continue on with the process until you come here to Step 12 again.
Option Three: Declare victory!
If you feel you have progressed and are doing well enough in your chosen improvement areas, celebrate! Now you can keep building on your accomplishment together by returning to some of the other Marriage Success Factors you did not prioritize improving. The administrator clicks "Start a New Iteration" to restart the Marriage Builder improvement cycle. You will both return to Step 4 above and be invited to retake the Marriage Builder Poll. You can now walk through the process again selecting a new set of Marriage Success Factors to work on. This allows you to always have a few practical action you are taking together to grow a stronger relationship even as your life circumstances and experiences together evolve.
Instructions Video for Option Three: Starting a New Iteration
To start a New Iteration, the administrator clicks “ Start a New Iteration” and then confirms "Start a new iteration." When you "Start a new iteration" you will find a record of your old "iteration,” as well as your new one in your "My Subscriptions" dashboard. You can get to these at any time by clicking the "Kannetic" logo in the upper left hand side of your screen. Each iteration is labelled with the date it was started.
Over time, you will have a record of the effort you made and victories you had in building a stronger marriage together! When you look back at this years later, you will remember everything you did together to get to the fulfilling and happy relationship that you have.